Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
