I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
