If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize