would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Come see our sink grown plant.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
