I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
