Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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