Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
