if you like me you must not know who I am
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
