U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
