I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
false alarm, still single
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize