a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
