On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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