Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
