you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
