South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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