Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
and she was petting her beer can
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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