I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
