I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I am midnight drunk by noon
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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