I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
