He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
