Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
