I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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