He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize