omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
