i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
