2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
