she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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