That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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