...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
