Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
