I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
