Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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