new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
