I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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