Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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