So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
