Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish I only lived at night.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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