She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
