Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Every concussion has its silver lining
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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