I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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