I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
