Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
