I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Randomize
