Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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