I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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