i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
