Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
