cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
