I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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