I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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