...so i touched it.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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