Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
