She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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