I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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