so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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