dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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