Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
