she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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