Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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